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  • Writer's pictureMj Pettengill

A Sense of Longing

Updated: Mar 6, 2021

A New World   CC0
A New World CC0

We think we know what’s going on, but we are often mistaken. As most are aware, at any given moment, multiple exceptional events are unfolding simultaneously on the world stage.

For some, getting a dose of information from the news, social media, and other familiar sources will paint a picture of what appears to be happening. Depending upon your beliefs, these stories can be comforting or fuel the fires of division. We are being encouraged to take sides on a multitude of issues.

During the past year or more, I have purposely protected myself from taking in too much information. This can be perplexing for those who make many choices and decisions based on these perceptions. Of course, it is essential to be informed, but at what cost?

I am going to re-emphasize the importance of maintaining a strong connection with our intuition. With the outpouring of information, it is easy to ignore or be distracted from what we feel in our gut.

Strengthening my bond with the outdoor world—the land, animals, and birds—is helpful. Here in the wilds of New Hampshire, the winds have been strong as the temperatures dip into the single digits. It is cold and raw. This is typical of March, meaning that I would rather sit by the fire, pull the blanket up under my chin, and read a good book. This is fine, but I wish to do this more than what would lend itself to my usual productivity level. I strive for and do, find a balance.

Lately, I have personally experienced an intense sense of longing. This can be a bit vague, so I will find my way through this. With so many radical changes brought about by the global pandemic, an electrified political environment, and the virtual unknown, I reminisce about the past. It felt as if somehow I had more control of my world. I am aware of the trappings of being comfortable with what we know. It is limiting and unrealistic. Change is constant. If we are to evolve to a higher level of being, collectively and as individuals, we must adapt.

That being said, I wonder, at what point do we draw the line? Do we have a choice? It is the perfect opportunity to embrace the saying, out with the old and in with the new. On the other hand, we must seek boundaries. How many of these changes do we accept without question? Remember, when my mother told me that the cookies were gone, I chose to look for myself. This is me. I have witnessed people frantically going one way or another without being fully informed. This is multi-faceted and directly related to fear and shock.

I do not have the answers, and now, they seem more critical than ever. I have had to accept that maybe we don’t have all or even some of the answers. With so much hurling at us all at once, this seems to be the status quo.

What I do know is that there are a few cookies in the jar. I know because I baked them and put them there myself. But it’s not about the cookies. It’s about knowing and trusting myself. Sure, I might have to check, and when I get down to only having a few left, I might decide to bake more. It’s up to me to decide. And honestly, I don’t want to overindulge.

There is a great deal of angst out there and decisions being made from that place. I hope that you will take the time for self-care. Pause, think, and check in with yourself. If you need help, there are people and agencies in place to help. You are not alone. Reach out if you need to. Go down into the deepest part of yourself and connect with what you are experiencing, thinking, and feeling. What you are being told may not be what is best for you or the most optimal outcome.

As beings, we are very powerful on many fronts. Trace back to the roots of what influences you, and strip away what is not serving you or the greater good. Trust your instincts, and stand in your truth. It’s okay or maybe not. It is up to you to open your eyes. Find the lessons. I wish you well.


Mar 06, 2021

There is always so much thought provoking energy in your written word, I never know where to begin!

Therefore, I will speak of that which your writing inspires. I think of a quote by Thomas Merton. "In a world of tension and breakdown it is necessary for there to be those who seek to integrate their inner lives not by avoiding anguish and running away from problems, but by facing them in there naked reality and in their ordinariness."

I know that's a mouthful, but it speaks to me of longing and impermanence.

We are light in human form with a delightful spark of the divine and I think that often makes it difficult to navigate the Earth realm and…

Mar 06, 2021
Replying to

Thank you for such a meaningful response. It means a lot that my offerings resonate and inspire you. Your feedback does the same for me, and I am grateful for you as well. :-)

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