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  • Mj Pettengill

A Beautiful Mess: Secretly Dreaming


Moonlight Cave CCO

Hello, darkness, my old friend…

Where did you go when the darkness found you? Did you go so far within that you mistook it for lack of light? I hope that by now, many have learned that there is much to see in the dark. The light that comes from these so-called dark, safe places—the creative womb or cave—is what eventually defines us. This is only possible when accessing self-trust and intuition when a closed heart finally opens. This never means to dismiss the brain. —No— Honor thinking, but do not overdo it. Shift to the heart before all is said and done. Keep it balanced and in check.

Remember, there can be no rebirth if there is no death and destruction. The tired and old must crumble and die when it no longer serves the greater good. It can and it will. White-knuckling that which causes pain only in the face of familiarity and comfort is both dangerous and limiting. Trust yourself enough to step outside of it. The one who matters is the one who looks back at you in the mirror.

Awaken. When we listen too closely, trying to distinguish the difference between our own heartbeat and that of the Earth, we may only be dreaming. When we arise, returning to ancient knowledge, we comprehend that our breaths and heartbeats are one with all. There is no definitive point of where one ends and the other begins. When we wander from head to heart, we comprehend our unique sacredness. We are aware of when to stay and when to go—when to fly and when to come in for a landing.

Perhaps, it is best to remain in the dark—in your cave—until you are ready and willing to trust your own eyes and ears. If upheaval and the unknown bring about fear, you might choose to stay in the womb until you can face it—the gifts that dwell only in the dark. It is when you sense heightened terror, joy, and the unexpected, going on to develop self-trust, that you realize that you are alive. As a human, to exist is to feel, to be all in.

Yes, it can be messy, but what a beautiful mess. What you see may not be anything like what you had hoped for, and you may secretly dream your desired outcome. This may or may not endure. Try not to miss the opportunity that we have had and are currently experiencing.

While living in exile, snatched away from all that we thought we knew in the external, we have been shown a series of doors and portals that lead deep into the abyss. This has been and continues to be an opportunity. How well did you navigate? Did you get lost? I expect that even if only for a short time, that you did. To be found, one must be lost. If you are still lost, I wish you well in your wandering. I beg you to trust your own compass at every turn.

We have been given a shot at our own rebirth or awakening. For many, this has been a time of expansion, self-discovery, and finding a light that offers new vision. But only if we are willing to see. New sight is worth nothing if locked behind closed eyes.

To some, denial may be the easy way out, but as I often say, the way out is in. If you are willing to recognize old patterns and cycles and set out to break them, you have won big. Our inward journey provides extraordinary gifts of wisdom, should we be capable of receiving.

Remove the word normal from your vocabulary, at least for a while. By now, you should know that nothing will ever be the same. This has always been true, but it may be more so at this time.

I hope for the one reading this to have discovered, or rediscovered, his or her source of creative power—the wellspring of light within.

Trust. Let the glory of sacred life unfold in the radiance of truth and beingness. What you believe may very different from my reality. That’s okay. It has always been and always will be. Lay down the sword—level up to respect, acceptance, and honor. Choose kindness and compassion, for I wish you the best today and always. MjP

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