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  • Mj Pettengill

Shadow of Uncertainty


In the Cave, CCO

How do we see our way through this shadow, this place of uncertainty? As expressed in an earlier piece, we have found it necessary to return to the cave, the proverbial womb.


If the proper time is allotted, we can view this as a chance to return to the safety and warmth of Mother. For it is here, we are guarded and protected. This underlying premise is a precaution, an opportunity to reclaim our essence, lost within the fast-paced chaos that we have learned to juggle, absorb, or hopefully ignore.

So much happens at the inception of life! We are a spark, a new beginning, and alignment of perfect miracles—the sum of our very existence. For those who follow my snow person stories, we are like individual snowflakes that fall from the skies. How grateful and humbled I am to know of our divine existence.

 

This is a time to reclaim what was lost, releasing the dependence on the collective. It is so easy to connect instantly with others around the globe. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, most can be, and are, contacted via platforms too numerous to list. 

We have lost the basic skill of realizing when we are presently occupied and cannot be reached. If we are not mindful, alerts and notifications rule the day. Even if notifications do not interrupt us, we are self-interrupted out of conditioning. I set my multi-functioning devices so that I check for incoming information when it is convenient for me. I am not ruled by easy access. However, I am reachable, should loved ones want to connect. It’s all about balance.

 

 Do you remember the busy signal?

 

Here we are, reluctantly crawling into our safe place. However, instead of only protecting ourselves, we are also doing it for the greater good. I will repeat that. We are not only protecting ourselves, but we are also doing it for the greater good. Yes, you might be a star athlete with a brightly shining, robust immune system. But it’s not about you in that way. It’s about you carrying this virus and passing it along to someone who is weakened by age or another issue that has compromised good health and well-being. For once, we are faced with the task of thinking outside of ourselves, our wants, and perceived needs.

Can you do it?

 

What does it mean? Well, for one, there is a strong possibility that you will face someone that you may have avoided (on an authentic level) for some time. That is you. Unless you rely entirely on social media, this is an opportunity to maybe read, sing, write, paint, meditate, clear away the clutter in every sense. You might even decide to re-connect with the wild. Who knows what it means? We are all unique—snowflakes—remember? Reflect.

 

Now is the time to reach for your torch. You may or may not be familiar with this quintessential light within. It is your individual light, and you have had access to it all along. I refer to it as your spark, ignited by the light of your parents, at their soul union, your creation. By the way, no matter what the narrative is, nothing is by accident, especially you. 

 

In time, some events and experiences may have dimmed your light. We are usually aware of this. Also, it is entirely human for your flame to be compromised. In fact, it may be extinguished to the point of seeming as if it has been completely snuffed out. This is never the entire truth. Yes, trauma, loss, grief, and profound sadness can contribute to the dimming of the flame, but deep inside, there is always an ember. No matter how slight this is, it is your core, and with awareness, love, and faith, it can be rekindled. But only by and for you.


If this is you, please take a moment to reflect. Somewhere along the journey, did you lose pieces of yourself, dimming your light? Now that you’ve been pushed back into the womb, it is time to reach further, to your roots. Do not hesitate to go deep. Nestle. Think of this time of perceived darkness as an entryway back to the light source, and imagine that you are carrying your torch. 

 

Shine your light into long-forgotten shadows, into the dark places that, at the time, were best forgotten. They are never honestly forgotten but have manifested, resulting in a heaviness that is now ready to move up and out. How could this be done before when everyone is zooming through life on the broken wings of rapidly-accelerating technology? Of course, there are huge breakthroughs and incredible advances. Still, we must now examine the downfalls that have impacted us on a cultural, social, and planetary level.

We forgot how to stop and breathe, to catch up with ourselves. So, now we are all being forced to do so. Let’s get real has reached a new level. It is time to renew the senses. 

 

Imagine, again, that you are in the womb. It is your intention to be born. As we know, there is no map or GPS. It’s up to the infant to find its way. The unborn do not have the time or the programming to fear the process. Instinct leads the way through the dark birth canal, out into the bright light of the outer-world from which we are now being asked to retreat.

 

What is dark? Is it merely a place devoid of light? I think not. We must not fear the dark and learn that if we are afraid, it is even more important that we dwell in it until the fear subsides. Darkness demands of your senses. Stay in it. You will know when you can navigate.

 

Now is the time. If you did not have your torch, it would be nothing but pitch black, the only sounds being that of the shared heartbeats of you and Mother. Although the swishing of life’s blood and muffled sounds in the outer-world are in the background, it is all about your hearts beating in unison. Take in that sacred rhythm as the drumming of life’s breath, as the tempo in which to guide you through the birth canal.

 

Timing is everything. Hold onto that torch—your flickering light that is growing by the hour—and let it be your guide. As you make your way through, you will remember that you have a purpose and that each life is worthy. There is new life waiting, and it is you. 

 

Yes, it's messy. There is blood, pain, and the salt of sweat and tears. It is life. Taste it. Hold it. Let it linger. Do not hide or run. It is your humanness that has risked being lost, as our abilities and willingness to connect in the flesh have been traded-in for devices, eliminating touch and the senses. 

 

Uncertainty is upon us. Our very survival depends on the ability to perceive ourselves and others in new ways. And in doing so, we are to consider the risk that we may carry with us if we do not unselfishly crawl back inside. Facing ourselves collectively and as individuals may be the hardest part of this global event.

 

We are wired to dwell on the hardships that may come out of being forced to stay home. Our addictions and habits are cleverly hidden from the surface of what we think we know. This is pure fear, a sly companion that we barely recognize. Fear has become much like a pair of well-worn shoes that we are reluctant to give up. Toss them out, please.


This lack of acknowledgment weakens our immune systems, making us susceptible to the very virus that is at the forefront. Perhaps it is a calling to re-think our places in this world and our relationships with one another. You are not alone. Everyone is in this together, and how we come out of it will be determined by our inner strength. Change is inevitable.

After you have reached the widest point in the birth canal—your journey—you will begin to see a faint light at the end. Before you reach that end, the world as you knew it, the canal will narrow. It will be uncomfortable and tight, and you might feel as if you cannot fit in there. You might even struggle to breathe.


Don’t give up. With help from Mother, you will make your way out, for turning back is not an option. Your light will slip within you, where it is up to you to maintain, rekindle, and know as you progress. 



Caves and wombs are portals, places of transformation. You have found yourself squarely in the re-birthplace of humanity. What has been toxic or harmful to all life and the living will never be the same. View it as a grand opportunity. Don’t hope for things to be the same. Think long and hard about that. As ambassadors of change, it is an honor and a privilege to be here now, at the threshold of something new. We are being delivered from what no longer serves us. Make it what you will.

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