The valiant moon flickered in lines on my wall.
I feared that it may disappear in January’s bottomless crack
Left along the edges of winter’s womb.
I asked it to stay
Afraid of the darkness that would have been left behind—
A hole in the sky where the stars once sparkled.
It was a dream-filled night.
And I had lost my way.
Yet I knew where I was all along.
I only had to remember who I was.
My father came to me in my dreams.
He did not speak.
He wanted me to know that I was not alone.
I asked him where the cardinal was.
His eyes told me; it never went away.
It’s always with you, Maryjane. You know this and carry it in your heart.
Admiring the frost, shivering, soaked in a feverish sweat,
I stood before the window,
Searching for the fox or coyote
Within the moon shadows.
How I longed to see them gracefully dashing across
The snowy-white bosom of Our Mother.
My eyes sparkled like diamonds.
My forest friends are always with me.
I know them in my heart.
—A place where they reside,
Where they come to me in a vision
Rarely acknowledged, yet always honored.
Outside my window
The icicles hung from glorious trees.
Medicine and fire,
Radiate secrets tucked away in love and silver.
Father, will the angels come for me?
The ones that I said to never fear?
As they break apart,
Fragile gifts ready to unhide
Opening the door to my heart.
Cradling lost secrets.
Is death so cold?
Love and truth come through with each breath.
God and the angels promise to return
All the lost secrets— dreaming their way home
I will once again be whole.
What was unleashed upon us
Who we are
And what not to fear.
Dear Lord, hold my spirit in Thy bosom
A life that is so dear.
©January 18, 2022 Maryjane Pettengill (Covid Illness)